How To Talk To Your Match About Your Genital Herpes Diagnosis

herpes dating adviceYou may think that having genital herpes means your dating life is over, right? Stop kidding yourself right now. You can still date – have a good time and fall in love.

Genital herpes doesn’t define you. It doesn’t take away the desirable traits that have turned heads and hearts your way. You are still a great catch, and it’s important you understand that you are not alone in your diagnosis. Genital herpes affects roughly 20 percent of the adult population in the U.S.

Of course, dating with herpes can be convoluted. After all, how do you approach the subject with the person you really like and could see yourself marrying?

When Not To Talk About Genital Herpes

Timing is important in herpes dating, and there are two instances in which you don’t want to talk about it:

  • Don’t tell your partner just after you’ve had sex
  • Don’t tell them right before you’re about to have sex (no sound decisions can be made when you’re both hot and bothered)
  • The only surefire way to know when the best time to tell a partner that you have an STD like genital herpes is to follow your instincts.  Of course, there are ways to address the questions and concerns that your partner is going to have – this will help him or her to make a sound decision about the fate of your relationship

    Learn How The Transmission Happens

    The first, and most important thing, a person will want to know is how genital herpes transmission happens. There is a plethora of misinformation about the disease, and because of that, there is a negative stigma associated with it.

    Don’t just tell your partner that you have genital herpes; let them know how common it is and how it infects the body. Some people are so freaked out that they won’t want to touch you. Some people will stop and think that the prevalence of the disease is just a part of having a sexually active lifestyle. Of course, many people fall in between these two reactions.

    Learn What The Health Risks Are

    For your partner to understand what they get into if they do pursue a sexual romance with you, you should make them aware of the short and long-term health risks. Genital herpes will lead to sporadic incidences of sores – in the genital or the oral areas (sometimes both). While they can be annoying or even painful, there are not long-term health risks.

    Be Honest About Your Emotions

    When you’re telling someone about the diagnosis, be honest about your emotions. Let them know how you feel and how you felt about disclosing it to them. How you react when telling them can show them how you feel about the disease and them. You become vulnerable when you disclose something like this, so it’s okay to cry if you need to.

    There’s no doubt the negative stigma associated with an STD like genital herpes. People with the disease worry that their loved ones won’t love them anymore or they won’t be able to find someone who loves them because of it. Thankfully, that’s just not true.  Even better, you may be surprised that the person you told still wants to be with you. Don’t forget: genital herpes doesn’t define you, your other qualities do.